Tango Squad
by Starspike7
Summary: Reapers are coming down hard as war takes hold of the galaxy leaving many troops getting the worst jobs. Tango Squad is no exception as they stand against three missions of utmost importance. Catherine, the leader and Demolisher. Phil, the Paladin. Alnos, the sniper. Oliver, the merc. Charley, the FNG. Together the can survive but will cracks in the team soon become canyons?
1. Chapter 1

Phil stood up from behind the gun controls and began unloading what was left of his N7 Valkyrie's thermal clip into the nearest collector. "You know, Tuchanka would be nice if it weren't for all the bugs."

He turned around to see if he could get an extra thermal clip from one of his team mates but instead found himself diving to the side to dodge a dragoon's lashes. In only a second after his dodge, Phil was up and running to the ladder that was posted to his left on the side of the control deck. He didn't even grab hold of the ladder but instead jumped down parallel to it and landed on the ground.

Once he righted himself, he continued on running. "Mind telling me where y'all went?"

A flurry of charged arrows suddenly flew past him at the Dragoon that was in pursuit, stopping it in its tracks and allowing the launcher to finish him with a burst from his M-7 Lancer. "Laying down mines-slowing them down." The Talon merc- Oliver- said, creating a few concussive arrows for his omni-bow. "Unsure where others went."

Phil ran over and took up position by him, and snatched a thermal clip from his belt. The Merc didn't need them for his own gun, but kept them around for situations like this.

"Much obliged for the save there." He planted it into his Valkyrie and looked around seeing no other enemies. "Did the varmints decide to pull back and regroup?"

"Likely." The Merc answered, launching a mine that stuck to the side of a doorway. "Good time to prepare for next wave."

Following his words, Phil reached up and pulled off his helmet. "Gotcha, ya'know this Inferno armor is fine and dandy but it could use a few air vents." He reached back into one of his ammo holsters and pulled out a cigaret from the pack he kept in it. "Not to mention, I need a place to put my lucky charm."

The talon let out a dry chuckle. "Thought you already had place to keep gun."

Phil lit his cigarette and grabbed his grandfather's .357 out of it's holster on his leg. "Yeah, but this armor catches at the holster. Makes me think I am gonna lose it sometimes."

"Tech powers."

"Look, it is an old weapon. I know you have only been with us for a few days but you need to realize that something else has to keep you alive and I'm not talking about skill."

"Teamwork. Or luck." The merc guessed after a moment, shrugging.

Phil took a long drag from his cigarette before answering. "Nope, it's that one thing that you always bring with you although it's practically useless."

The merc seemed to be staring at him, though it was hard to tell with the mask he almost always wore. After a moment, he gestured for him to continue.

"Okay, a President from Old America named Teddy Roosevelt always had a glasses case that he stuck in his left shirt pocket. Now' it was the most useless thing to keep in such a vital place. Why did he keep it in there? Because on one of his missions in ye old spanish american war, he had to slip that glasses case in there and it stopped a bullet from penetrating his heart. Useless, but it saved him."

The merc nodded. "So referring to yourself?" It was hard to tell if he was kidding or not.

Phil felt his eye twitch as he pulled the hammer on it back and aimed at the merc's foot. "You know, this thing may lack in the ability to penetrate some armor but you leave yourself a whole lot open on your right arm."

"Distraction. They aim there, don't aim at vital spots. I do." He flexed the arm a bit. "Also easier to aim without hinderance."

Phil clicked the hammer of his .357 back into place and slipped it into its holster. "I call it my lucky charm because it is just that. Ain't able to use it on the battlefield. Only thing it can really do is take down kinetic barriers fast. Then, I would really have to aim for the right spot in order to kill something."

"To instantly kill. Could still bleed out."

"Yeah, but that is only if it bleeds. So that is limited to Cerberus forces. And we haven't seen many of them since the Geth showed up. Now it's primes everywhere." Phil looked around for a second after noticing that the others hadn't regrouped with them. "Where'd the rest of the posse run off to?"

Oliver answered with a shrug. "Somewhere else."

"Well, Catherine better get her ass over here and tell us the plan before they show up again." Phil took another puff if his cigarette and then held it out to Oliver. "You smoke?"

"Only if set on fire. Tend to try avoiding that."

Phil shrugged and put it back in his mouth taking another puff. Out of the corner of his eye, Phil caught movement. He looked quick and put his hand on his N7 Eagle but let it go when it turned out to be Alnos'Edo Vas Rayya. "Hey, at least the asthmatic is here."

"Don't see any volus here." Oliver commented, and Phil would have bet money his eyes rolled behind his mask.

Phil left the cigarette in his mouth and held up a hand to the quarian. "How many missiles you got there, partner?"

"If you humans are done gossiping, we have a couple, few clicks away."

"Fuckin' buzz kill", Phil pulled the cigarette out and flicked it away and put his helmet back on. "Alright, lead the way."

"Thank the ancestors." Alnos rolled his eyes. "I thought we would keep arguing until your sacred Earth became a smoking pit."

"Or until your ships became debris." Oliver responded flatly. "Should fight hostiles, not each other."

"I like this guy." Alnos answered with a grin behind his helmet. "Too bad he ruins my fun though."

"Fighting. Not meant to be fun...most of the time."

"That's my human."

Phil pulled the Valkyrie off his back. "Okay, is Catherine still in the back of the control tower, or did she finally get off her lazy ass and move that damn pylon?"

"Have offered before to give you spare lancer." Oliver muttered under his breath. "Instead have to carry clips for you."

"I don't use a gun that I haven't cleaned." Phil pointed to Alnos. "So, lead the way."

"Then clean gun when we get back. Would be favor."

"Even us quarians don't use trash like Lancers, and we are piss poor, as you humans amusingly say."

"Trash?" The merc somehow kept his normal flat tone, while also managing to be insulted.

"Yeah, there is a reason that nobody uses those anymore. Now, seriously, where are those enemies at?"

"Reason nobody uses Lancers is that they are rare. Or have been modified to take thermal clips, so might as well be Avenger. And not used for direct damage- used to weaken for powers or finish off weakened enemies." Oliver said hotly.

"After this, my fellow humans, I expect a striptease of your best females, I heard they are quite… exotic."

"... Boy, I will take you to the nearest whore house so you can get your whistle played if you take me to the dumbasses that you said touched down." Phil's hand reached down and activated his Eagle and readied for the fight.

"Oh calm down, they are less than five hundred… eh, yards, according to my translator. Careful with cannibals, they are grouping en masse."

"Good. Fish in a barrel." Oliver said, launching a mine into a well used path that would be bound to catch at least a few of them. "Can show you what "Trash" is capable of."

"Sorry, these platinum level missions get me on edge. Why the hell do we do these?" Phil gestured over to the merc. "He's the only one that is rated for this thanks to the bow of his."

"Mines too." He deadpanned. "And do it for higher pay."

"I am still waiting for my dances. Those human officers promised me that after reclaiming Rannoch."

"Have new concept for you." Oliver commented. "Lying."

"You realize that if Catherine hears you, you will be cleaning the latrines for weeks. And we have Warlords living at the base now. Showers get to be a fuckin' mess when they decide to wash." Phil muttered.

"Oliver, my dear human, you are a… monk? Or eh… kicking for the other side? How can you deny females, especially in times of war?"

"Prefer asari."

"Ah, tentacle heads. Should have known you liked to swim for your women." Phil smiled and loaded his pistol with a new clip.

"Leave him alone. I respect him for liking asari, they are quite exquisite." Alnos smiled as he watched his surroundings, eager to see some action and already alert despite the banter happening around him.

Phil began to laugh but something behind Oliver caught his eye.

"And more experienced." Oliver agreed with a chuckle as he readied his lancer.

Phil's eyes widened when he realized that it was a cannibal and pushed Oliver to the side. Then, he brought up his pistol and fired four shots into it, being the standard amount that would drop a cannibal. He ended up emptying the rest of the clip when it only made the morphed freak stumble instead of fall. It was suddenly knocked against the wall by a set of concussive arrows.

"Knew I forgot mine somewhere." Oliver muttered as he got back to his feet.

"Yeah, you almost got made into that raccoon I shot behind my house on Benning."

"Raccoons don't have team watching back."

Phil clicked the clip on his pistol to assure that he was full again. "And they don't have that one useless item."

"Well then, destroy them!" Alnos roared amid the gunfire. "I already got three headshots, aren't you going to try and beat me?"

There was the sudden sound of a distant explosion. "Two cannibals, two husks-" Oliver shot a set of arrows in that direction. "And one Marauder."

"If you beat me, Oliver, I will present you my sister." Alnos laughed as he dropped three more. "And you won't!"

"We'll see." The merc answered as he launched a mine to replace the one that'd been set off. "Though prefer to see Catherine. Beginning to wonder if still alive."

Phil put his pistol away and grabbed the Valkyrie from his back and sprinted off to one of the openings. He expected to see maybe some collectors or a Geth but he immediately cursed himself when he came face to face with two banshees, a scion- that became possessed as he looked- and one atlas.

"Oh, fuck me!"

"Banshees might, doubt others have sex drives." Oliver deadpanned. "Ideas?"

Moving on instinct, Phil placed his hands together and hit the snap freeze program on his omni-tool. It lit up orange and ice sprayed from his hands, covering the banshees and icing a leg on the Atlas. After that, he used the chance to drop behind a fallen pillar and start thinking of a plan.

"Hey assholes, SMILE!"

A single shot rang out amongst the chaotic discord of heated combat. A lone grenade flew through the air and landed at the banshee's feet, erupting in an unforgiving explosion that launched shards of ice in all directions.

"Here's another from my baby! She's certainly getting a workout today!"

Phil looked from the chaos up to the level where the shot fired from. "Darlin' you came at the right time."

Phil leaned over the cover and fired a incinerate into the possessed scion and then followed it up with a shield drain. The scion erupted like a volcano as flame flared out of it and splashed into the Atlas.

A group of concussive arrows hit it, carrying electric charges. It turned to look at Oliver as he started unloading with the Lancer. "Show you what Trash can do!"

Phil put his Valkyrie on his back and brought his eagle level with the Atlas's cockpit. With three quick bursts the Atlas caved under the conjoined fire and exploded, taking one of the banshees and the scion down with him.

The last Banshee went into a rage and teleported to the nearest rise and teleported again around the corner. "Damn, Hey Alnos, Banshee is coming your way."

"Look at the ugly mug on that one," Catherine smiled as she peered through her Black Widow's scope. Her crosshair fell on a lone cannibal before a finger twitch ended its life, "I did you a favor!"

Inserting a fresh clip, Catherine scanned the area and spotted the her team's Paladin huddled below, while the merc was posted back by the ramp. Yet, Alnos was nowhere to be found, "Where's the resident buckethead?"

Catherine abandoned her post and hurried down to regroup with the squad, trying her best to avoid gunfire as her shields struggled to stay up.

"Well, well, looks I will gladly accept your help!" Alnos screamed. "I will try to take it out, but come on, some grenades will come in handy, use your human military tactics! I am getting overwhelmed as it is!"

Catherine saw Phil stand up from his place and activate his shield to absorb the collective fire of three Marauders. "I can hold out here with Oliver. You can go help glowey."

"Scoped! Come on, gentlemen, that counted as ten!" The quarian chuckled. "Sorry Oliver, you are losing your ground here."

There were another pair of explosions. "That was twelve." Oliver replied back, launching another set of mines, and prepping more arrows.

Catherine slid next to them and took a deep breath, smiling at the rest of her team behind her helmet, "Howdy gents. I see you're all having fun."

Alnos scowled. "Keelah, that is a lie. Remind me why we are best friends, Oliver? You only cheat! I can't offer my sister to you if you tend to do that!"

"Already said, prefer Asari anyway." He replied, finishing off a weakened canibal with his Lancer. "And thought Quarians only allowed single child per family."

"Oh, my parents screw like there is no tomorrow!" The quarian laughed as he destroyed three husks. "They had my sister as they were prime members of the fleet. Too bad I did not get any dances when I was curious enough of age."

"Glad I'm only child." The merc quipped as he launched a spread of arrows and destroyed another set of husks.

There were continuous explosions and ice radiated from the kill box near Phil. Next thing everyone one knew twelve confirmed kills popped up on everyone's hud by Phil. "Fish in a barrel, gentlemen. Fish. In. A. Barrel."

"I should feel offended!" Alnos mockingly held his heart while his omnitool overloaded a nearby marauder's shield. "My sister is a constant headache, but you humans have a fetish on exotic things, take her away will you!"

It was easy to tell the merc was rolling his eyes as he launched a concussive shot that took down a marauder. "Talk to me if we live. Can discuss rates."

"Alright gentlemen, give me a status report. How fucked are they?" Catherine laughed.

Phil was the first to reply. "About as much as you will be after I get ahold of you tonight."

"Philly, please. Your hand needs some attention from time to time," Catherine said with a clasp on his shoulder, "'Sides, that banshee has been eyeing you ever since it showed up."

"Banshee? Thought that it was Alnos's sister." Oliver chuckled, ducking behind cover to let his shields recharge. "Hard to tell difference."

"Catherine, my hands would rather receive the attention from you."

"This ain't kindergarten, Philly. You can hold Oliver's hands in the meantime. Cop a feel of his arm if you're feeling adventurous," Catherine said.

"If you do, I pin your hand to wall with arrow." The merc replied, doing just that to a cannibal before blowing its head off with a precise burst. "But might take pity on you if hands are 'out of league.'"

Phil stood up and gunned down another marauder. "Another one bites the dust. Hey, Alnos, does your sister go the whole nine yards or is she just that bitch prude?"

"My sister? Well then, I guess Oliver's standards are low indeed." Alnos drawled as he shoot two cannibals. "Get him a krogan female, hopefully he will shut the hell up."

Oliver ducked behind cover and shot him a glare. "You are just jealous you couldn't score drunk vorcha female...Wait, do Vorcha have females?"

"Uh, Catherine is the one that is supposed to know about that shit. I'm just here to kill things." Phil incinerated three cannibals but they didn't die from the fire.

"Not denial." The merc noted.

"Quite sad, you humans. My sister would never mate with losers like you."

"Hey, can you get over the fact that the entire Asari smells like fish? I mean even the parts that matter." Phil activated a survival pack and closed his wounds.

"Not how I would describe it."

"But does it?" Phil at this point seemed more curious than mocking.

"If we survive this, then ask again."

"Catherine, you have taken one to bed. What does it smell like down there?" Now, Phil was definitely mocking Catherine.

"Much better than your mother did." Oliver quipped as he pulled a husk over his cover and pinned it to the ground with an arrow.

"Was I talking to you Robin Hood? Catherine, answer."

"I'm gonna go with roses, final answer. I don't know what you've been smelling, Phil but you might want to avoid the Omega ones if that's all you've been with. Lest you want the alien clap."

Phil blasted another Marauder. "Hey, how many left in this wave?"

Another one of Oliver's mines went off as he blasted a brute back into it with a concussive arrow. "Not many. Nothing big."

"Good, I never got to finish my smoke. I need the nicotine bad." Phil gunned down one more cannible and then hit the last group with a snap freeze. "All set up, Catherine. Hit them now."

Oliver instead stood up and launched a concussive arrow, detonating the explosion and killing all three.

"What the hell?" She said, holding an unthrown grenade.

"Had one more arrow to get rid of." Oliver shrugged, creating a new set.

"You see any more?" Phil broke in.

"Not yet."

Phil sunk down behind his cover and pulled his helmet off. Already holding a cigarette ready. "Well then, time for a smoke break."

Oliver cracked his neck as he stood up, sliding his lancer onto his back. "Anyone know how much longer?"

Catherine raised a finger to her helmet's comms and spoke in a clear voice, "Ring-a-ding-ding, command? You guys have any chores that need doin'?"

"Major McCallum, I highly suggest that you keep it professional over the comm. As for chores, there was a troop transport that went down half a click from you guys with a cargo of experimental explosives. If you can get that to the extraction are then there is a thirty-thousand credits that will be added into your permission funds." The command announcer maintained his usual intensity while talking.

"I could go for a few credits more." Phil chimed in to convince her to take up the mission.

"Agreed." Oliver said, checking his charge generator.

"Bite me." Alnos drawled. "It isn't as if we are doing a bad job here. You should come and see it, corpses could be good for decorations." The quarian chuckled loudly as he put his sniper to rest. "More credits eh? Gentlemen, it looks like those dances will happen."

"Alright gents, let's do some housekeeping," Catherine smiled.

"I'll take point since I can shield us if something big is in our way." Phil put out his cigarette and placed his helmet back on. "Anyone get a problem with that?"

"Probably better having you in front." Oliver said, reading his Lancer again. " If helmet breaks, face will scare them off."

Alnos chuckled lowly. "Jealousy eh? Maybe a contest among the ugliest is in order. My money is on Oliver. Do try to win it, I need a… private session with Miss Germany, and it is not cheap."

"Have heard we have Batarian joining unit. Put money on him instead." Oliver said, lip curling with distaste behind his mask.

The quarian just stared at his fellow soldier. "Keelah you must… no, you don't joke. Why are we having a blink with us?" Alnos ended with a sneer.

"Need soldiers, "Blinks" have experiance. Something Shepard negotiated."

Everyone's heads turned west when the objective became highlighted.

"Well, let's posse up and get out there y'all." Phil shook his head. "Uh, I mean let's get out there."

"Command is stupid. You need to raise morale on soldiers, not plummet it down with a blink." Alnos grumbled. "Why can't we get a female for a change?"

"Wouldn't mind getting an honest-to-god woman in our posse." Phil took off down one of the nearest paths. "Now, can y'all please get into sniper support areas so that I don't get overwhelmed?"

"Well since you asked so nicely…" Catherine said, hefting her sniper rifle over her shoulder, "Let's get some overwatch going."

Alnos rolled his eyes, something he had picked while with this pack of soldiers."Yeah, yeah, we have your six."

"Don't plan on fighting solo today." Oliver answered, following behind Phil, weapons at the ready.

Phil took off forward with his Valkyrie at the ready. Every corner that they came to he was checking thoroughly before making a move as they made their way through a maze of wreckage. At first, it looked like they would get it through without any problems. Then, all hopes of a non conflict mission went out the door as they were cut off by two airdropped Atlas.

Making a quick flex, he activated his shield to block one of the Atlas missiles but the one behind them was now the main problem. "Snipers!?"

"Loud and clear." Alnos voiced over the comms. "I'll pitch in some. Overload on the way."

"Arc out! Let's shut 'em down!" Catherine said.

The Atlas began to to malfunction from all the electrical arcs and one misstepped in the narrow path and fell over on it's side. The other aimed its cannon at them and fired off a homing rocket. Phil's deactivated his shield and tackled Oliver to the ground as the rocket sailed overhead and smashed into it's fallen partner.

"*Am* capable of ducking you know." The merc's muffled voice came from under the paladin.

"Keelah, you alright Oliver? That was close." Alnos said, sounding worried.

"I'm fine." Phil called as he stood up ready for whatever the undestroyed Atlas would do next. "Thanks for remembering I am down here too."

Oliver stood up as well, though slightly less steadily until he activated an opps pack. "Still have one more. Hit it with incinerate, I'll detonate it."

Bringing up his right hand. Phil launched an incinerate that his the Atlas right on its cockpit and broke the glass open.

Oliver's arrow went right through the hole and into the pilot's head, before the shock wave set off a fiery explosion that sent pieces of the mech across the battlefield.

Both of the soldiers got to their feet and righted themselves. "So, how far are we Cathy?"  
"Just a stone's throw away. If we hoof it we might get a nice fat bonus on our next paycheck," Catherine snickered.

"Careful better. Plan to actually spend this paycheck." Oliver commented.

Phil pulled his Valkyrie up to the ready and kept moving with Oliver nipping at his heels. Soon, they came to a crashed alliance ship that was filled with dead men. First thought that came to Phil was to start rummaging around and that meant moving the bodies.

"Alright, you move the bodies, Oliver. I will look for… uh… Cathy?"

"Yes, my N7 compatriot?"

"What in sam hell am I picking up?"

"Well since you volunteered, you can lug around the crate of experimental explosives they lost. Make extra sure you don't take a round, okay? It wouldn't look good in my report if somebody on my team was reduced to paste."

Oliver chuckled quietly as he moved the corpses.

It wasn't long before they found the crate and fitted it into a backpack. "Everyone owes me a free drink for this."

"Keep telling yourself that." The other three said simultaneously.

The backpack was fitted quickly and Phil ran off with Oliver in the lead this time. Hoping to god that no Atlas's tried to corner them again.

"So, where do you guys want to meet up now that we have that apartment on Silver Sunset strip?"

"Bar." Oliver said over his shoulder.

"Second that." Alnos grinned beneath his helmet. "Would be great to drink and feast after dealing with these explosives."

"Chora's Den or a different one?" Phil asked.

"Anything with human female strippers? Tired of asari." The quarian replied.

"There is that new one, Paradox. Looked good from the signs. Plus, free drinks to N7." Phil called again, dodging back as Oliver dealt with a husk.

"Works for me." He said calmly as he blasted a cannibal with a blast from his rifle.

"Free drinks? Instantly sold," Catherine said after putting a new hole into a marauder's chest.

"Ancestors, should have applied for human citizenship. You N7s get everything these days indeed."

"N7 is Overrated." Oliver joked before rolling to the side to avoid a Dragoon's whips. A few armor piercing arrows stopped stopped it in its tracks, and he finished it with a burst of rifle fire.

A Geth rocket trooper came at them from the side but Phil was able to put his shield up and block his shot before it got too close. "What was that? I couldn't hear you over how awesome it is to be an N7."

"And I couldn't hear you over all the free drinks I'm gonna score!" Catherine chimed in.

"Alnos, need help here!"

The quarian started laughing maniacally. "Ancestors, you fucked up with these beasts, let me try to redeem you! You got my back!"

"Meant against Phantom!" He yelled as he dodged its sword and barely managed to avoid being impaled.

"Which has geth technology!" Alnos yelled while laughing. "Look at those cloaks!"

"Just! Shoot!"

"What I am doing, so keep your head down and shut up."

"Not good at close range! Downside to Omni-bow!"

Phil charged forward and slammed his shield into the phantom, knocking it away. "Guess who just got saved by an N7?"

The merc responded by tackling him behind cover as an Atlas appeared from behind the corner and launched a missile at them. "Guess who saved an N7's ass?"

The Atlas blew up and took out the Phantom with it. "Guess who just got saved by a Quarian."

"Touche." The merc said, launching a mine as a brute charged. The dumb beast kept on running forwards, and its exploded corpse slid to a stop a few feet away from Alnos.

Phil looked up at the ledge and saw that they were nearly there. "Alright, let's get paid. Give me a boost."

"You are a decent person." Oliver said. "Or did you mean physical boost?"

"Just get over there dumbass."

"People will think you nuts if you talk to yourself like that." The merc replied as he walked over.

Catherine looking at both of them before adding. "You have the voice of an angel."

"Also applies to you Catherine." He deadpanned.

"Well sure, if you don't want a pick-me-up I can always nag you to tears," she replied.

Phil got up on the ledge and turned around and stuck his arm down for Oliver. "Get up here, slowpoke."

The merc grabbed his hand and let himself be helped up.

"Ever think about eating less?"

"Could be tobacco making you weaker."

"As if, you're just fat." He hauled up Oliver and they continued making their way to the drop zone. "Is this the final run or are they leaving us here for another few waves?"

"This is the home stretch, guys. Make it count and the first round is on me," Catherine said.

"I didn't know we would be doing body shots", Phil joked.

"What you do with Oliver is none of my business," Catherine replied.

"Suggest retracting last statement." Oliver said to both of them, eyes scanning the area. "Or talking to shrink about apparent death wish."

"I wouldn't mind doing it with you Cathy." Phil said as he dropped off the package.

"Have better chance of getting Banshee to sleep with you." Oliver replied.

"Let the woman talk where appropriate."

"I wouldn't mind having this girl put a new hole in your helmet and having it chalked up to a weapons malfunction either," Catherine responded, hefting her Black Widow.

Oliver chuckled quietly.

Phil huffed as he took cover from an oncoming banshee. "Anyone ever tell you that you are going to grow up alone and with twenty cats?"

"At the end of the day, I'd still have more pussy than you," She replied without missing a beat.

"Recommend applying Ice to that burn." Oliver laughed. "Also, several husks incoming. Recommend icing them as well."

Phil stood up and sprayed them all with a snap freeze. "What do I have to kill to earn a date with you Cathy?"

"The raging hard-on you obviously get just from looking at me is a good start," she said after planting a bullet in husk's skull.

"It's funny how you automatically associate a date with sex."

"Who said anything about that? Obviously you got something going on down there if you keep hitting on me," Catherine said.

"What if there isn't and I just like your personality?"

"All we've done since we met in Rio de Janeiro was banter with each other. Not really the start of a blossoming romance. Side's Alliance doesn't take too kindly on fraternization. I may bend the rules a bit, but I'm not one for outright breaking 'em."

Oliver chuckled. "So, if rules didn't exist, might happen?"

"I refer you to my first sentence."

Oliver opened fire as a pair of Phantoms sprinted at him. "Should try luck with these two Phil!"

Phil used an energy drain on the two phantoms and they were open for both to be gunned down by Alnos and his sniper rifle. "Guess who just won a lap dance from Catherine?"

"Jealousy is something I do not feel! There are millions of humans out there, Phil." The quarian was amused, and continued dropping enemies with his sniper rifle.

"Yet all are beyond your reaches." Oliver said with a chuckle.

Alnos sneered beneath his helmet. "I will have you know that I've gotten sick quite a few times thanks to your beautiful human females, especially those fiery redheads… Keelah."

"So, we have to get you a red headed stripper?"

"More like some alcohol, and three redheads, along with a brunette and a blonde."

"So how many guys to get for Phil?" Oliver asked in deadpan as he stuck an arrow through the eye socket of a nearby Centurion.

Alnos laughed. "I do not know, but I've heard he has a crush on the human males at the Normandy."

"Psst, Phil. I know a guy who's a cousin of a friend on the Normandy. Maybe he can hook you up," Catherine said.

"One movie about gay cowboys and now everyone from texas is a queer." Phil muttered as he smashed a into a Cerberus troop with his shield.

Alnos chuckled and downed a trooper, his head clean off. "I bet ten credits Phil had some fun with that movie."

"Keep talking Alnos. I am coughing into your food next time."

"Might improve taste." Oliver commented distastefully.

"Just because I don't suck cock to command like you idiots do, doesn't mean my food is bad. As a matter of fact, you go ahead, your germs won't do a thing anyway. Of course, if only Kasumi Goto would spit on them…"

"Partner, you are fucking weird."

"Agreed, for once." Oliver agreed.

"Just because I like a flexible human female who has a great snug cloak." Alnos muttered. "Yeah, sure."

"You know, I think I am done with y'all after this."

"Threat or promise?"

"More of a hope."

"Hope for you, or us?"

He got next to the transport and dropped the bomb off. "Can we stop talking about this and y'all can actually try and hit something?"

"Alright cut the chatter and look sharp everyone, evac point is just up ahead. Phil, take up a defensive position. Alnos, you're our sapper. Whatever makes them weak, do it. Oliver, plant some mines and make 'em hot. Common sense dictates they'll throw everything they have against us now. Let's leave a surprise for when they get here," Catherine said in a more serious tone. "Command, this is McCallum. Requesting immediate evac. Let's get these boys home,"

"And Phil as well." Oliver muttered to himself as he prepared a set of concussive arrows.

Phil stood in the center of the target area and threw his shield up. "Alright, agro collector is up commander."

"Just got the greenlight. 90 seconds till the shuttle arrives. Time to nut up gentlemen," Catherine said.

"Or shut up. Prefer latter for Phil."

"You can't honestly tell me that you hate my voice more than Alnos's autotuned sound that he calls his voice."

"...Yes. I can."

"If anything Phil, it's like I said: voice of an angel," Catherine cut in.

Phil hesitated for a moment. "Catherine, you got a Banshee behind you."

"Yeah, you got a clone of yours behind." Alnos muttered on the radio.

Catherine whipped around and felt the air forced from her lungs as the banshee snatched her up. Her wrist glowed orange, her omni-tool aiming at the banshee's face. A bright orange ball rocketed from her omni-tool at exploded, stunning the banshee and releasing its hold on Catherine.

A few seconds after that, an incinerate flew in and blasted into the Banshee. The tech combined and overloaded the Banshee causing a tech burst.

"Guess I can't leave, without me you all will die." Phil joked

"Might still be better than hearing voice."

"Jackass. Thirty seconds." Phil called as the shuttle was on it's way in.

"Roger that. Moving into position." Oliver said, shrugging his Lancer onto his back, though he kept his omni-bow at the ready.

As the shuttle came in, Phil deactivated his shield and got ready to move- not seeing the geth sneaking up on him. Only a flash of motion as he approached the Sentinel warned Oliver, and he tackled him to the ground, the round barely missing them. As the merc rolled and turned, omni-bow at the ready, the Geth fired again, striking him in the unarmored part of the arm and knocking him on his ass.

"You worthless piece of scrap!" Catherine shouted.

Just as the Geth aimed a shot at the merc, he managed to roll to the side, left hand searching for a weapon- one of their guns that had been knocked from their hands. As they closed around something, he brought it up and aimed at the Geth's head, managing to hit the eye and blind it.

As Catherine and Alnos finished it off with near simultaneous shots, he looked down at the weapon in his hand and groaned.

"I'll take that back." Phil said, retrieving his revolver from Oliver's hand.

"Sure enough, that thing actually does something," Catherine commented as she reloaded her sniper.

"Never going to live this down, am I." Oliver muttered as he retrieved his lancer, wincing at the wound in his arm.

Phil picked him up and stepped into the shuttle. "Nah, I will only give you hell about it until my fifth drink that you pay for."

Catherine was the last to get into the shuttle. Once the doors closed, she took a long look at Oliver's arm, stroking the chin of her helmet all the while, "Eh, rub some dirt on it. You'll be fine."

"Lucky to be ambidextrous." He commented, examining the wound. "Hit bone though."

"Want me to call a medic to meet us at the bay?" Phil asked after giving a look at his wound.

"Would rather keep arm, so yes."

"Don't you worry, Oliver. Some drops of medi-gel and a few nano-sutures, you're arm will be strong enough to pound those drinks at the bar. First round's on me," Catherine said.

"Alright, command, have medics ready." Phil said into his mike. "Yep, it's Oliver again."

"Still have left hand to smack you with." Oliver said, glaring at him from behind the mask.

"Sounds like you will be out of bed action for quite a while eh?" Alnos chuckled with a smirk behind his mask.

**S7: You know, this turned out mad decent for our first collaboration between four people and an omni-present third-person point of view. **

**JAF: We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty!**

**T117: So is cutting down to only three people writing the rest more or less impressive?**

**JAF: More mightiness. We don't have to share as much.**

**S7: We don't need no fourth person. We are a strong and independent group.**

**JAF: Mmhmm *Z-snap***

**T117: I think the really impressive thing is that Spike managed to talk me into writing another fic with him, and that I agreed.**

**S7: But seriously, we did awesome on this. Way better than I expected this to turn out and it was my idea. I seriously lowball on how good I think something is when I get an idea.**

**JAF: Nice to see we're all going to get along famously. I think I might cry.**

**T117: Eh, for all Spike and I joke...well, would I have really written an entire crossover fic plus this if I didn't like hanging out/writing with him?**

**^Do you really want my opinion on this?^**

**(Yeah, you do write for me, so it's pretty obvious you're nuts enough that you might've.)**

**S7: Wrong story dumbasses. Beat feet and hit the road.**

**(Oh, like **Crazey Metal has been logged out.

**T117: It doesn't matter what story it is, that will never not be fun to do.**

**S7: True, though I would much prefer to have Bourne than him. Anyway, doesn't your fic come out today Ferret?**

**JAF:...maaaaaaybe.**

**S7: How do you not know if you posted something to your own profile?**

**T117: He could be not sure if he's **_**going **_**to post it.**

**JAF: Oh I will. Damn you peer pressure! Your powers know no bounds.**

**T117: Spike and I are both willing to beta it for you.**

**S7: We can beta and make snarky remarks when we are jealous of how good or awesome something is.**

**JAF: No please, my ego can only get so inflated before exploding into confetti.**

**T117:...**

**JAF: Or it can totally implode at all the nasty things you say to me. It's a two way street sort of thing.**

**S7: So you will either become a supernova or a black hole?**

**^Awesome! We can use his black hole to travel to another part of the galaxy!^**

**S7: Didn't I say you were supposed to get the hell out of here?**

**T117: Yeah, CTHI wouldn't log him out because I couldn't remember his username.**

**^Hahahahahaha, win.^**

**S7: Alright, we better go then. Any last words or challenges for the audience guys?**

**JAF: I'm going to stuff SO MANY feels into this!**

**T117: Try and see if you can guess who wrote who, and leave it in a review.**

**S7: Alright lets get out of here. 1473I2.**

**T117: Sayonara.**

**JAF: Arrivederci!**

**S7: Arrivederci? Seriously, you gotta go all fancy dancy on us?**

**JAF: Well what do you want? Au revoir? ****Auf Wiedersehen? Adios?**

**T117: As long as it isn't written in L33t speak.**

**S7: It's 1337. Not L33t.**

**T117: See, the fact that you even know that kinda proves my point that you have no room to talk.**

**S7: Lets just get out of here.**

**StG: Amusing.**


	2. Chapter 2

Phil felt himself begin to doze off at the table. He had been waiting for forty-five minutes for his team to meet him but no one had shown up. Not that it would be the first time a team had left him waiting but he certainly had better places to be than the refurbished Chora's Den.

The heavy thrum of electronic music assaulted his ears. All in all, it was the same seedy club. It just had a different paint job.

Just as Phil was about to go out for good, he was thumped in the back of the head and got his hat knocked off. "Who the hell?"

"Yooo Philly, nice to see you didn't bail on us," Catherine remarked as she slid into a chair across from him. She tugged on the sleeve of her denim jacket and grimaced, "Why's it so damn hot in here? All this alien sweat is worse than you guys' stink."

"I don't know, Alnos wanted to come here. Said it was human night and the club that I suggested was closed."

"Well chalk it up as another one of his bad ideas, this place is almost as bad as Omega. And at least over there the booze is strong enough to forget about it," Catherine said with some disdain as she took a sip of a purple drink she held in her hand.

Phil took another sip of his Batarian Ale and sat the drink on the table. "Hey, I have a question for you."

Catherine slid a finger along the rim of her glass, raising a brow in curiosity, "Okay, shoot."

"Do girl drinks taste good?" Phil picked up his glass of ale and swirled it around. "It has been on my mind ever since I realized that I hate the way anything that is socially acceptable for me to drink."

"Huh? What are you talking about? Why would I know?" Catherine asked, her eyes narrowing.

He gestured to her purple drink. "That is a gapeltini. I know because you always order it but ask them to put it in a glass so we don't notice."

"Wh-What? What are you trying to imply here?" Catherine growled.

"Nothing. I am just wondering how it tastes."

At that, Catherine slammed her drink onto the table, a faint flush on her cheeks, "What, you think I can't take any hard booze? I'd drink you under the table!"

"That's not what I am saying at all. I just want to know if that tastes good."

Catherine didn't seem to hear him as she made a loud snap with her fingers, "Hey, get us the strongest thing you got. Don't hold back, you hear?"

"You are seriously over reacting. I was just asking you if your drink tasted good."

"Screw that, you and me, take turns drinking shots. First one to pass out pays for the entire night," She said with a competitive glint in her eye.

"Okay, not like I haven't had enough practice."

"Can see I'll be designated driver tonight." Oliver commented, getting both of their attentions- neither had heard him approach. As usual, he kept his face mostly concealed with the hood of his emerald sweatshirt.

"What's with the cast?" Phil asked as the waitress brought his and Catherine's drinks.

Even with his face concealed, the look he gave Phil was obviously one of contempt. "Not sure. Maybe because bullet shattered arm bones."

"It shattered it?"

"Bullet means slug of metal at high speed- designed to go through armor. Bone less tough than armor." He looked over at Catherine. "How much has he already drunk?"

"Four glasses of whiskey and no I don't mean shots. Catherine here actually wanted to try and drink me under the table just because I asked her how woman drinks taste."

"Less talking, more drinking!" Catherine shouted before downing her first glass and smacking it against the table.

"Have to stick to water." Oliver said, almost looking ready to spit. "Medication for infection. No alcohol for 72 hours."

"Damn", Phil drank his shot and looked to Catherine, "Looks like I am drinking for two tonight."

"Big difference." Oliver muttered sarcastically.

"Hell, if Alnos doesn't show up either, I'll say the same thing," Catherine added, pouring herself another glass.

"That reminds me. My sister wanted to meet you guys so she is going to be by after her appointment with the doctor."

"Great. Two of them." Oliver sighed. "Getting shot normally means universe owes good karma, not bad."

"Bad for you? Do you know how many guys I usually have to beat off her when she comes to places like this? It's worse than the cougar attack back in the Texas wildlife preserve."

"So she's mute?" Oliver chuckled.

"Haha, very funny. Has anyone ever told you that you are hilarious? Because they lied."

"First Tuchanka, now here. Need to stop talking to yourself."

"Wait, hold up, time out, your sister...she's not the...is she going to be safe around...you know...a certain Quarian person," Catherine asked with half-hearted hand motions.

Oliver almost burst out laughing, but managed to pretend to cough instead.

Phil ran his hand through his sandy blond hair. "That's what I am worried about. She's… well she's… She's a xenophobe when it comes to quarians."

"Ooh. Well, that's going to cause problems. For you anyways," Catherine gingerly took a sip of her drink and sighed, "Hell, if she pisses off Alnos enough, it might even be a show."

"Could record and put on extranet." Oliver said, chuckling.

"Yeah, she has our grandfather's other revolver and likes to kill things with it. Before she got Kalmire Infection."

Oliver gave him a blank look. "Which is?"

"It takes about three months to cure. It's an infection that gets into your spine and makes it begin to lock up. She has to do stretches and stuff every day to keep it from making progress and shots into her vertebrae at least three times a week."

Oliver winced slightly. "Don't envy her."

"Cathy here might once she sees her."

Catherine finished her second drink and narrowed her eyes again, staring daggers into Phil, "Not today, lightweight. Not today."

The lady brought another pair of drinks and set it down at the table. "Here you go, hon."

"Thank ya' ma'am." Phil took his drink and leaned back in his chair. "She is probably going to bet you that you can't get as many guys numbers as she can."

"Hope you mean her." Oliver said with a nod to Catherine. "Definitely lose if you meant me."

"Please, you would probably be the first to drop to his knees and be her bitch."

"Is your sister Asari?:" Oliver asked rhetorically. "If not, never happen."

"Eh, not this one."

Oliver gave him an odd look before deciding not to ask and waving the waitress back over so he could order a soda.

"I have four sisters. Three of them are asari because my mom died when I was eight." Phil put bluntly.

Oliver was silent several moment, thinking. "Must be odd to be that much older than them."

"Yeah, they are the only Asari that I know that are younger than me." He sat back in his chair. "Also, they have certain… ideals that can make you feel awkward."

"Century considered young for them, for instance?"

"Well, mom treated me like I was a toddler for the longest time. She didn't let me get a license until I was eighteen and able to get it myself because I was her 'baby boy.' She would always go on about how she wished asari could have male children."

He chuckled. "That'd be...interesting to say the least."

"Yeah, you're telling me." He looked over at Catherine. "Want another drink or is three your limit?"

Catherine looked up from the glass in her hand. Her omni-tool flashed a green light. Glancing down, she furrowed her brow, "I'll be back in a few."

Standing up from the table she pointed a daunting finger at Phil, "You try to sneak in a break and I'll break your arm."

"One fracture on team not enough?" Oliver commented.

"Trust me, when you are a good looking woman, then you might have to worry about that but here in this club among nines and tens. You don't really have me begging to follow."

"Maybe but unlike these nines and tens, I have the authority to recommend placing you smack dab in the middle a reaper invasion," Catherine said as she walked off with a shrug.

"Women." Oliver sighed. "Why I prefer monogendered race."

"You mean the race of just women?"

"Monogendered. Hence, no male or female."

"Actually, monogender means that there is only one gender. Female. They can enduce a form or sex with another female and thus children are born. There is a lizard in Texas that is too. We learned about it in high school biology."

"Shut up and let me have delusions."

"What, do you like to pretend they have a dong or sumtin'?"

"Will pretend I didn't hear that."

Well, not gonna introducing you to my family. Don't want you trying to get into my sisters' pants to find out."

He coughed, soda coming out of his nose as he heard that. "Phil, they're... forty? Max? Thought equivalent would be maybe sixteen?"

"Actually eighteen. They age weirdly in that they grow at a faster pace until they hit their seventies and then it slows down."

"Regardless-" He said before coughing again, getting the last of the soda out of his throat. "Concern noble, but unnecessary."

"Him show concern? Phil, did you grow a heart on Tuchanka?" Both men turned their heads to see a pale girl with brunette hair and a yellow dress sit in Catherine's seat.

"Hey sis." Phil waved for the waitress. "Thought you had to meet your doctor."

"I did and I blew it off." She said with a smile.

"What?!" The glass in his hand shattered into pieces and his arm flexed out of rage.

She watched the blood drip from his hand out of the lacerations the glass made. "Geez, relax Phil. It was a joke. I met with him this morning so that I could make it here in time… do you need some medigel?"

"I got it." Oliver said, activating the one on his left hand and pressing it briefly to the lacerations, medigel instantly flowing over the hand and sealing the wounds shut.

"Will I ever get a break with your sick jokes?" Phil's tone was kind but irritated at the same time.

"Maybe, if you introduce me to mister mystery over here." She looked across the table at Oliver.

"Jessica, this is low life scum. Low life scum, this is Jessica."

"Oh, forgot to mention. Got Omni-bow back before leaving hospital." Oliver glared from beneath his hood. "No charges- but…" He clicked his tongue. "Still normal arrows."

"Fine, low life scum likes to be called Oliver."

She put her hand out across the table to shake Oliver's hand. "Please to meet you Oliver."

"Likewise." He said, still glaring at Phil.

"So, I thought you said that there were two others in your team."

"There are, Catherine is doing something that would make it look like she has a heart if we saw her and Alnos is off getting three lap dances, most likely at once." Phil put it very bluntly.

"Both doubtful." Oliver said.

"Okay, now that that's settled," Catherine quipped as she returned,

Catherine turned her attention to the girl who took her seat, "So...she doesn't work here, right?."

"Cathy, this is Jessica. Jessica, this is my boss."

Jessica gave her a big smile. "She's cute. Have you asked her out yet?"

"What part of my boss did you not get?"

"He did try." Oliver said. "Not finest moment."

"So she's the little sis I heard so much about. I see that she stole all the good genes," Catherine said, "Anyhow, we have a drinking competition to continue. I'm not backing out until one of us has to be picked off the ground."

Oliver looked at his arm. "Pretty sure I could make at least one concussive arrow."

"How do I know that you didn't just throw it all up?" Phil quipped.

"Please, I've went through worse in basic. All those MRE's have a way of making anything taste like a gourmet dinner," Catherine said.

"Agreed." Oliver and Phil said almost at once.

Jessica leaned over and whispered something in Phil's ear.

"Nah, they don't."

"What's that?" Oliver said, hand raised slightly, as if to use the omni-bow.

"I too, am intrigued by the whispering," Catherine remarked, tilting her head to the side.

Jessica looked down at the ground and let out a sigh. "Phil used to drink competitively. It's how he paid for college."

"First person in thirty years to take a mid-term with an intoxication level over point two five in thirty years. Also, first person to be intoxicated and get an A in history."

"...That explains so much about you." Oliver said flatly.

"He means literal history not the class." Jessica pointed out.

"Look at you, Phil. Now you're in the military fighting off nightmare fuel on a daily basis and knee-deep in the kind of conditions that make Krogan shudder. Fancy college education really pays for itself, huh?" Catherine said as she pointed a thumb at her short blonde hair.

"It's funny how my degree counts for shit."

"What did you major in again?" Jessica asked.

"Child psychology."

"...Also explains so much."

"Well you know what they say, Ollie. It takes one to know one," Catherine remarked, making both of them chuckle.

"You know, if you were a kid. I would say you are suffering from gender constraint syndrome." Phil commented to Catherine.

Oliver almost choked on his drink as he started laughing.

"It's because you refuse to allow your feminine side to show. Probably because your dad always wanted a son but instead tried to make you as tomboyish as possible."

Oliver leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Think she's got gun in her pocket. Backtracking wise."

Catherine kept her face neutral. Closing her eyes she slowly rose from her seat and took a deep breath before landing a fist into Phil's jaw.

"Apology would be a good idea." Oliver said with a sigh as he finished his drink.

"Maybe I should go." Jessica commented.

"Nah, it's okay. She pops me at least three times when we all are together. If she was a child I say that she has a crush but she is an adult so she shouldn't take what I'm saying to heart."

Catherine sank back into her seat and crossed her arms, "Shut up."

There was no actual malice in her voice, but she seemed perfectly content with leaving the conversation there.

Oliver elbowed him in the ribs as he opened his mouth, giving him a look that obviously meant he agreed.

Jessica looked around at everyone and laughed awkwardly. "Hey, Oliver, care to take me for a dance?"

"Would prefer not to."

"Please." She gave him big irresistible eyes.

He shot the other two a "Help me out here" look.

"It's all up to big bro, here. I bet he watches over her like a hawk," Catherine said.

"I will allow it." Phil said, sitting back in his seat.

Oliver managed to keep his face composed, though he grit his teeth behind his lips. "Fine." He stood up, hood still hiding his face and offered her his hand.

She was up faster than he anticipated and dragged him off into the crowd.

Catherine leaned back in her chair with crossed arms. Her dark blue eyes carefully watched over Oliver and Jessica, "She kinda reminds me of my own little sisters, you know. They're not as old, but...hell, they have the same outlook, I guess. I can't really place it."

"Yeah, she is adventurous. Also, she has had this ideal for the longest time that I would find a girl in the Alliance. She believes that what we do is romantic shit I guess."

"Tch, everything in the galaxy is romanticized. You don't see the truth of anything until you're in it," Catherine replied.

"Name another thing besides war."

"Plenty."

"I meant one that is grotesque but romanticized."

"There's enough to fill a book. Some are easier than others. Does Jessica know anything about what we do every day?" Catherine asked.

"Yeah, but she still keeps telling me that she wants to be a nurse like in World War II. That's how she means to find her husband as she claims."

"My youngest sis, Anna. She says she wants to be a top-tier doctor, working at the most fancy hospitals on the Citadel. Hell, she's only started high school and she's got a better grip on her future than I did. Guess our younger halves have better aspirations than wading through filth and looking for someone to shoot." Catherine looked at Phil before adding, "For all the shit we put each other through, we can't forget that we're all here for a reason. I want to make sure that all my little siblings have a future they can carve for themselves."

"Heh, you know, I wish that was my reasoning. sounds a bit more righteous than wanting to be a hero. Seriously, I do this not to make tomorrow come but to write my name in history as someone who stood beyond others and did so to save everyone."

"Whatever the reason, we're all here to kick the reapers' ass back to whatever circle of hell they came from," Catherine said.

"I'll drink to that." Phil looked over and saw that Oliver was sweating like no other and his sister was gone. "Where is Jess?"

"Uh…" Oliver rubbed the back of his neck. "No idea. Turned around, she was gone."

"Yeah, she does that."

"Thanks for warning me." He grumbled sarcastically as he walked back over.

"Cheer up, Ollie. There's plenty of fish in the sea. I'll buy you a beer," Catherine said.

"A- her idea to start with. Don't really care. B- Alcohol plus medication would cause liver damage."

"Well, more beer for me, I guess," Catherine mumbled as she hailed another waitress.

Phil pulled out a cig from his jacket and lit it. "Anyone want one?"

"Pass." Oliver said.

"Same." Catherine added.

"Alright. More poison for me." The cigarette was immediately snatched from his mouth and both Catherine and Oliver saw a beyond angry Jessica holding it behind him.

"Are you seriously smoking again?"

"Has been for a while." Oliver threw him under the bus with a smile.

"Tsk, tsk, it's bad for your health, you know?" Catherine said with a barely constrained smile of her own.

Jessica brought her fist down on the back of Phil's head and he dropped like a rock onto the table. Following that she took him by the arm and put it out by digging it into the back of his bicep until the heat stopped glowing. She then discarded the one and began searching the pack he had on him.

Oliver wordlessly reached over and applied some medigel to the burn.

"Impressive. Something tells me she's done this more than once," Catherine commented.

"Or it's genetic."

She pulled the pack out of his jacket and tossed it up to where the dancers were. "He's not supposed to be smoking. That was his promise. I told him every broken promise results in a punch."

"Did he promise anything else lately?" Oliver asked with a smirk.

She sat down in the chair and crossed her arms. "Just that he would get a girlfriend that he would appreciate before the end of the war."

"You going to punch him in advance then, or wait until after?"

Jessica cracked her knuckles and glared at Oliver. "I ain't afraid to put you on the floor too."

He smiled. "Didn't go to fancy school like him. Went to school of hard knocks." His omni-bow suddenly appeared around his hand, though aimed at the ceiling. "Wouldn't advise it."

"I went to a private school, so I guess I'm out," Catherine remarked.

Oliver put the bow away, though he kept his eyes on Jessica from beneath the hood.

"Let's not start a fight, guys. Either of you gets arrested and I end up filing the paperwork with command," Catherine mumbled

"Once fruitcake steps down, then we won't have any problems."

Oliver chuckled. "Will let that slide. Don't want to hurt friend's baby sister by accident."

She sat back in her chair and took Phil's drink. "Baby sister or not I can still kick your pansy ass."

"Krogan said something similar once on Omega. Put arrow through his eye after beating him into a wall." He flicked his wrist, and a switchblade appeared in his hand, which he used to start trimming his nails.

Catherine stared at Jessica before offering a meager shrug, "These two are usually more of a handful than my five siblings. And that's saying something."

"Glad only one cousin." Oliver said without looking up. "Parents would've been nuts with more relatives."

"Such is the rural life, Ollie. Escapade Valley was nothing but farm work and keeping everyone from killing each other. I'm still amazed they even had a private school for me to attend," Catherine said with a reminiscent smile.

"We had a weird childhood to say the least. When we weren't working for our cousins on Benine, we were going around Texas trying to find what our father claim was the last great land. Phil thinks he found it but I still think that all we found was our dad's lies."

Oliver made the knife disappear with another flick of his wrist. "What did parents do for living?"

"Mostly coasted off our grandfather's wealth. They told us that we needed to make a life of our own without their money."

"Bit harsh. Can see their point though."

"Yeah, well, it was mostly our step-mom's idea. Though, I think it's because her kids won't be getting any of the money so she wanted us all on level playing fields. Phil actually inherited the money when our mom died but he wasn't able to access it until he turned twenty-one and our dad's part of the money was what they were surviving off of."

He shrugged. "Don't see point then. Asari have more time to make money before they're on their own."

"Though Phil won't admit it. Our step mom is a bit of a bitch when it comes to money. If it's not her's then she wants it. She wasn't like that until she hit the matriarch stage though."

"...Your dad married matriarch?"

"No, he married her in that stage before matriarch. She just hit the matriarch stage like ten years ago."

"Still seems bit old to marry."

"Since when did you become an expert on love and what is acceptable?"

"Just stating own opinion. Not trying to offend."

"Yeah, well, all Phil needs to do now is go to the bank and claim his money but he says that he is too busy to care about monetary gain."

"Can respect that." He said with a shrug.

"Are you supposed to be from Russia?"

"...What."

"Your accent. It sounds like you are from an Earth nation called Russia."

Oliver gave her a slightly annoyed look.

Jessica looked hurt. "What? It's an honest question."

"Grew up on Omega. Proper grammar not biggest priority."

"Yes, but you had to pick up the lisp from someone. Your mom maybe."

"Doubt it. Wasn't around much. Usually off on missions. Same with dad. Raised mostly by uncle." He shrugged. "Couldn't have been him either. He was Australian."

She sat back and gave him a nod, noticing Phil groan. "Uh, did anyone get the number on that skycar?"

Oliver rolled his eyes and gestured Jessica. "You said she's full sister, not half sister?"

"Yes, why?" Phil asked sitting back up.

"Just wondering why she got all the good genes and you ended up with ugly weak ones."

Phil's gun was up before Oliver could react. "Not all the good ones. I still got the reflexes and aim."

"Better hope first shot can get through barrier then. I still have omni-bow and switchblade."

Phil's gun lifted from his hand and into the air. "But I got the biotics." Jessica said, almost bored.

Oliver chuckled. "So that makes Phil only sibling without biotics?"

She sat back and nodded. "Yeah, yet he still felt like he could intimidate any guy I brought home more than I could when I am pissed off."

"Could've just shown them face, Phil. That's plenty scary." He smiled, though it could barely be seen as he leaned back again, hood obscuring most of his face in shadow.

Phil snatched his gun out of the air and put it back into the holster. "So, where should we go after this? I got a need for some arcade games."

"I can't I have to fly out." Jessica said with a shrug.

"Fly out for what?" Phil said, giving her a confused look.

His sister immediately knew what she said and suck down a bit. "Nothing, nevermind." She looked at Oliver, changing the subject. "You know, you call my bro ugly- cause he his- but he's not the one hiding his face with the hood right now."

Oliver didn't reply, he just pulled it farther forward.

"No, Jessica. You said you had to fly out. Why?"

"I… kinda… sorta… signed up for the Alliance Fury Program."

He just stood up from the table and walked off into the crowd of people.

"...Huh. Not reaction I would have expected." Oliver commented.

She looked down at the table. "We aren't going to see him for at least the rest of the day."

"He's going to get drunk, maybe pass out or pick fight?"

"Nah, he's just gonna go and keep walking."

"Protective older brother syndrome?"

"Remember what I said about our mother dying?"

"Yes...never said how. Related in some way?"

"Well, long story short, Phil hated Dad and so he made it his job to take care of me."

"Hated? Past tense?"

"He made up with dad on his death bed. It was kinda one of those movie esc moments."

Oliver's com went off before he could reply, and he raised his hand to his ear to answer. "Oliver here."

"Who is it?" Jessica asked cocking her head to the side.

"Catherine. Excuse me." He stood up, walking for a more secluded area of the bar. "Shore leave being cut short?"

"Well not exactly. You see, the higher ups handed down some new orders. We're on bodyguard duty for Alana Solis, a Thessian governor. But command decided to...switch things up a bit," Catherine leaned forward in her chair, tenting her fingers, "Alnos was transferred to an engineering corps in the Perseus Veil. They're trying to recover after their bout of fighting with the geth."

"What about our fourth man? We gotta take the Thessian Governor to Illium still." Phil called in over the comm.

"Drunk or not, he's right." Oliver agreed.

"Which is why we're being given an FNG to take his place. From the file command sent me not too long ago, you guys should know that he's ex-Cerberus."

"Phoenix operative?" Oliver guessed.

"Apparently so. Alliance Spec Ops found him during a raid on one of their Noveria Bases. He surrendered without a fight. Said he wanted to join our cause." Catherine replied.

"The fuck!? Did they do background checks on this guy?" Phil broke in.

"Again, drunk or not, has good point."

"I'm not disagreeing, but during times like these, the Alliance can use all the help they can get. They ran some psychiatric evaluations on him and they didn't detect any sign of indoctrination. So as far as they're concerned, he's fit for duty." Catherine said with an air of finality. She peeked over her shoulder and sighed.

"Then someone should tell him: He betrays us, I'll put an arrow through his eye."

"And I'll shove those fucking whips so far up his ass that you could pull them out his throat."

"Feel free to tell him yourself then, because here he comes," Catherine said, pointing over her shoulder.

"Shit, I'll be there soon."

"Onroute."

"Excuse me, but from the way you happen to be looking at me, you wouldn't happen to be my new house arrest officers? If so, can I say this first, be gentle on me." The ex-cerberus personnel say sweetly.

"Great. Has a sense of humor." Oliver said sarcastically. Catherine rose from her seat and approached him, arms behind her back.

"Charles, I presume? I'm Major Catherine McCallum. From here on out, I'm your handler. Let's get this out of the way now, you're done being Cerberus. I don't care what you did before now and I don't care how the Illusive Man did things. You answer to me. And as long as you do that, we'll be on good terms."

Phil suddenly pushed his way through everyone on the dance floor and grabbed Catherine by the shoulders. "I just gotta say, you can handle me anytime. God, I have been waiting to use that joke."

Catherine's shoulders slumped as she released another tired sigh, "I swear to god, Phil…"

"As if one wasn't bad enough." Oliver muttered to himself, walking over as well.

"Damn, stole my joke from my mouth." Charles muttered as he rubbed the back of his head. "Gotta say, I think I might just enjoy this if ya'll have no problem with me unlike my past… Twelve _'handlers'_. He added chuckling.

"Shit, where ya' from Charlie? Don't tell me, Benning."

A thoughtful expression crossed Charles face. "Well, if you want to get technical, a test tube. But, Atlanta in the good ole USA." He said proudly with a mock salute.

"Didn't get the chance ta' visit Atalanta. More of jus' Texas." Phil said thoughtfully.

"Well, ain't too nice. Labs aren't a good environment for children, and docs and scientists don't make good conversation for no child, that's for sure." Charles chuckled at the memories. "Alliance funded though...originally."

"Yeah? So, why did you join up then?" Phil asked now getting more inquisitive as to their new teammate instead of just pleasantries.

"Born into them?" Oliver guessed.

"Anonymous funding, under fake name, Cerberus had plants, and lab born biotics, so let's just say cost of one wasn't enough for mass production." Charles answered solemnly. "You'd be surprised how many places in the Alliance are either compromised with a plant, or a small amount of them are Cerberus."

"I meant with the Alliance."

"Oh...My," Charles cleared his throat a bit and muttered the next part quietly. "Sperm donor, was an Alliance official. Soldier, and well, sense of family somewhere."

"Fuck, I mean why did you join up with the Alliance after they pulled you out of that god forsaken hell hole that was your home."

"Well, choice between death and interrogation over serving and giving intel...Take your pick, plus knowing access to the project files for the project that birthed me." Charles answered more seriously as he chuckled. "Honestly, I didn't enjoy anything Cerberus partook in, there are lines no one should cross." He spoke the last half morbidly.

"And there's few they haven't crossed." Oliver said distastefully.

"All for humanity, as they say, sadly that doesn't protect any humans either." Charles added with a sigh.

"Know how they operate." Oliver said somewhat testily.

"I simply...My partner and I couldn't do….What they asked us to...Alliance saved me." Charles stated with a rough tone.

"Um, I think I will see you guys later." Jessica cut in as she stood up from the table.

"Hey, I'll walk you back to the hotel." Phil offered stepping up beside her. "Later guys."

"Well considering the circumstances, I guess we'll cut it short for today. Charles, we have a shuttle docked in bay D43. I'll ring you up when shore leaves over. Don't be late." Catherine said.

"Understood, Major. Permission to leave?" Charles asked curiously as he looked at the woman.

"Granted. Get some rest. It won't be long before we're back at it," Catherine said before leaving the club.

**S7: Ah, shore leave. This was a fun chapter but I think we over did it.**

**T117: You're saying something was **_**overdone?**_** Who are you and what happened to the real Starspike7?**

**S7: I meant in terms of length. Asshole.**

**T117: Dude, half the chapters of UiaWoF were either Bourne and Ty just talking about crap, or us in the A/Ns doing the same thing. Not really seeing the problem here.**

**S7: True, and question, should we tell people who we write for..?**

**T117: Well, two of the three reviews correctly guessed I was Oliver.**

**JAF: And I was left hung out to dry...that's depressing…**

**S7: To be fair, you have been out of the game for a while. Just not many people from your fan base are going to read this unless you sell it on one of your fics.**

**T117: Yeah, I thought I put in a thing in SaWoF's A/N about it, but it doesn't seem like it got much. Unless I forgot to do that. I'll put in another plug next chapter either way...which I just realized needs to go up soon- I thought it was only Wednesday, how is it already Thursday on me?**

**S7: I know that feeling, I meant to try to get a Prime chapter up today but school got in the way.**

**JAF: And I….well I didn't really do anything. You guys just drag me out whenever there's writing that needs to be done.**

**T117: Yeah, that's why I'm trying to keep a backlog/buffer, is for when school gets crazy and I'll have like five minutes a day to write, or however things end up going...plus, some days an author just gets too lazy to wanna write.**

**S7: This is just too hard right now with school. I'm freaking dying under all this paperwork.**

**T117: Yeah, I'm sure at some point I'm going to wonder why the heck I starting writing fanfic and did this to myself.**

**JAF: Because it's so much fun?**

**T117: No, that's the reason I **_**kept **_**writing.**

**JAF: Then is it because you're a masochist?**

**T117: No, it's because I was reading some SI I don't even remember the name of where the guy didn't get the grenades from the guy at the spaceport, and basically just wanted a fic where the guy would actually use his knowledge of stuff like that… and then it kinda went from there.**

**S7: I got drunk… and woke up with like eighty pages of Js and a fan fic at the top.**

**T117: You fell asleep on the keyboard?**

**JAF: Well you know what they say: Write drunk, edit sober.**

**T117: Or write fast, and then make it less crappy later.**

**S7: Yes, I fell asleep on my keyboard. It was comfy.**

**T117:...keyboard = comfy to you?**

**S7: It was this like gel keyboard thing that rested down by your hands. Anyway, I think we should call it here and head off.**

**T117: Works for me. Sayonara.**

**S7: 1473I2.**


End file.
